I have been thinking about the person I am...the person I am becoming. I have contemplated the people who have influenced the person I am...for the better and the worst. I guess the people that you would say have had a high level of impact on my character would be my family...but beyond them...who else has had some say in the person I am?
I guess the second big influence would be the people who I have had intimate relationships with...and this brings me back to my original point...how far would you go for that person? Would you give up your passions? Would you give up your dreams...just to make the person happy?
A recently relationship I was in saw me compromise my passions, the desires of my heart...I wanted to do what I could to make that person happy...to show her that I cared for her. But I guess under the circumstances I didnt clearly see how detrimental that was for me. God has placed visions in my heart and mind...but at the time I was neglecting based on the disapproval of one person. When we broke up...I was able to see that I was giving up what I wanted so that she could have what she wanted...but is that always a bad thing?
There are times when you need to compromise...i doubt anyone could or would disagree with that. There would be very very few relationships where the couple agree 100%...and I tend to feel that would be a bad thing...its in our differences that we grow around one another. But what happens when neither of you are right or wrong...but you both come to a different outcome? I think in this situation...the character of each person is really brought into the spotlight.
Some people may take the aggressive approach...not wanting to hear out the other person opinion...but rather reiterate their own approach.
Other people will take the passive approach...avoid confrontation...give into the other person in order to keep the harmony.
Some people will give the impression that they are understanding of the other persons point of view...but they will never really accept it.
Others will take on the manipulative approach, attempting to coax the other person into taking their own view, but make them feel like it was their own choice.
But what is the approach that I feel is the most healthy...the approach that will see the relationship flourish and grow stronger?
Firstly...respect! You must learn to respect the other person. When they come up with a difference of opinion...if you dont respect them...you will dismiss it regardless of what they say.
Secondly you must listen! Okay...you dont agree with them...that doesnt mean you cant allow them to vocalise their thoughts. I am the first to admit that I make mistakes...I make incorrect choices...I can come to incorrect conclusions. No matter how correct you think you are...there will be times when you are wrong...and that is why its so important that you listen to the other person. At the end of the day if you dont listen to the other person, but rather push your own opinion and you do end up being wrong...how embarrassed will you feel!
Thirdly...you need to appreciate that its not all about you, and sometimes you need to put your wants aside in order to make the other person happy. Not everytime...but there will be times when even though you want something so much...you need to put that aside in order to allow the other person to get their way. You may not feel good about it, but its in this kind of situation you are really demonstrating how important the other person is to you...by giving up something that you wanted for them.
Turn it around the other way...how do you feel when someone does something because they know that it will make you happy!
So to wrap up...i just wanted to say to that person who has gone out of their way to do special things for me...you are the best! Thank you for all those times you have gone along with me...despite having no interest in those occasions at all...I will never forget you
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