Dont let it drag on

I dont believe that I'm a strongly opinionated person generally. I have always been one to listen to others thoughts and consider them, even when they are in direct contrast with what I believe. But there are a few topics where suddenly something fires up inside of me and no matter what others say. Relationships and related topics in one such area...although based on my track record Im not too sure I should be too opinionated in this area.

One such topic that has come quite a lot recently is the thought that in a relationship, be it between husband and wife or boyfriend and girlfriend, the guy should be the one who is ultimately more understanding and show more compassion when things get heated. By default men are more logical and women are more emotional, and there is nothing wrong with that for that is just the way God has made us. But this can lead to issue when two are attempting to resolve a conflict and if this is not factored in, things will only get worse.

When the trouble hits, even when the guy may believe he is right, I think that it is the mans responsibility to put his pride aside to compromise and comfort his darling. This isnt a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of love for his woman. Too many times people will fight, both people will think they are right so they will not back down or make a compromise for the other person and in the end they will walk away resenting the other person.

This exact situation happened to a friend of mine at the start of the long weekend. His wife did something incorrectly, it lead to a fight where neither would give way and in the end they walked away from each other in anger, refusing to back down and ultimately not talking to each other. This went on for the whole long weekend....and into the next week! Come Tuesday...and Wednesday...they had still not spoken to each other! Now I have to say...both the husband and wife are fantastic people...happy, funny, caring and wonderful people...and as a couple I believe they are an awesome match. But here neither was willing to back down so they had basically wasted a week of their life being upset with one another.

As my friend updated me on the non-progress...I implored him to approach his wife and say sorry, tell her that he loved her. Initially he was against the idea because he felt he was right and she should say sorry. This is where I believe they man needs to show the compassion that the woman deserves, humble himself and remember that this is the woman he loves. So as I chipped away at suggestions as to ways to approach his wife and end this horrible situation, he finally decided on Thursday afternoon he was going to head home that evening with a treat for his wife...a peace offering I guess you could say.

And it worked. Come Friday things were back to normal. They were happy again. But the problem is they had wasted so much time being angry with each other, they had missed the whole long weekend where they could have enjoyed the time together.

I guess it just takes understanding and some patience, we must not allow arguments to draw out like this. Actually this is stated in the Ephesians 4:26 where it says:

Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry

Im not saying that we should pretend everything is okay and ignore the issues, for in the end I told my friend that he still needs to talk about the problem that started it all. While its one thing to be the calm person in the heat of the argument, when both parties have cooled down, its important to discuss the problem. For you do not want issues being swept under the rug and allowing them to build up inside you. But I believe that the man should make the first step to calm things down. This isn't a sign of weakness, but rather a sign of love!

In the end, we are here for such a short time. We need to enjoy life, not let fights and arguments get the better of us. Especially in a relationship, you should enjoy the time you have together...for this is the person you love. Make the most of every day and don't allow yourself to go to bed angry with unresolved issues.