Setting The Bar Too High

Most of us try to do our best in life...to make the right choice...to succeed in areas of difficulty...to rise above the rest...to ultimately bring joy to those around us, those that we hold dear. Or are we trying to please those people around us? Are we trying to satisfy the demands of people who play significant parts in our life? I think a lot of the time we are just trying to uphold the expectations people have on us. Those individuals, be it family or friend...they expect things from us...and ultimately if we dont achieve what they desire, we are looked on as a failure, as a disappointment.

Why do we care though? Well for me its that I care the person. Some might dispute this...but I do care...and if every move I made was visible...you would see that. But this isnt about defending myself or proclaiming how wonderful I am. When we care about someone, we dont want to disappoint them, so we do our utmost to ensure we dont let that person down. The horrible emptiness that can be felt when you look at someone who you care about, and all they have for you is the look of disappointment. All because you failed to reach the expectation they have on you.

But where do these benchmarks come from? How are they set? Why is it that people will have next to know expectation on one person, but on someone else they expect the world? I hear a lot of people suggest its about trust...when you trust someone you raise the expectations on that person. But I dont feel that is the only aspect. The lifestyle that someone leads...that can dictate expectations. As a society we hold Christians at a higher morale standard than Atheists...but then how often do we hear/see/witness Christians making incorrect choices...and what is the result...disappointment in that person, they are outcast, not worthy to associate with. But did they really fail that badly? Do they honestly deserve that treatment?

Ultimately I believe one of the main dictations of expectation that people will place on another is their track record. If we are nice today, people expect us to be nice tomorrow. If you are the one to always phone a friend, its an ongoing expectation that you always be the one who makes first contact. If you are the one who organises the plans, ultimately the other person will leave it all up to you with the expectation  that everything is under control and they need not worry.

This is quite sad when you think about it. What happens that day you dont smile, or you dont make the first call or you forget to make the plan...you are a disappointment. So basically...despite the fact you have done so much in the past...you miss one and ...BANG... the past is irrelevant.

This highlights the simple fact that we are easily taken for granted in life. By nature its very easy for us to fall into the trap of complacency, failing to recognise what others are doing for us, or more accurately undervaluing what someone does. I think this is something that we are all guilty of in some way or another.

But its not till that day when its not there...when you are without that thing which has always been given to you...that you realise how lucky you were all that time.

What is it that you have been failing to fully appreciate? Is there someone in your life that works away tirelessly, but you have not given them the due appreciation they truly deserve? We all like to be appreciated...especially when we have performed an action that demonstrates our care/love for another.