Its inevitable that in life we will face situations that end in argument. Be it with our spouse, close friend, workmate or random stranger...there will be instances where disagreements will occur, differences in opinion will come to head...and ultimately things will get heated. I strongly believe that the way that someone conducts themselves in an argument shows a lot about their character. There are those people who will get very nasty and attack the other individual on a personal level. There are those who are skilled in the art of debate and can argue their point of view very succinctly. And there are others who will just give in and let the other person win.
Realistically there is nothing wrong with having a dispute or argument. I feel they can be quite healthy for a relationship. They actually show that there is still a pasion in the relationship between the two people. The problem a lot of the time when we do get into this position is the thoughts that begin to form in our mind. We can start to have images of how we would like to harm the other person, its like a spotlight is directed right on all that persons flaws and failings, our mind is clouded by distaste for the other person and our tongue is poised to unleash that anger on them.
At this moment we need to press pause and ask the question....are we listening to the devil or listening to God??
The dangerous thing is...we so easily can let the Devil not only speak into our mind...but actually take hold of our minds. Those thoughts of hatred towards the other person, those images of reaping revenge upon those who have hurt us, those words of anger that we want to throw at the one who has betrayed us...none of these things are from God, they are all from the Devil.
We must understand the simple fact that the devil is exceptional when it comes to justification, rationalization and highlighting other people's faults. Its remarkable how easily I can allow my mind to get wrapped up in the justification in my mind of why I should take revenge on someone who has hurt me. Thoughts of how supportive I have been to that person, memories of all the help I had provided them and constant reminder of what that person did to hurt me will take my mind to a place that is no where close to what God wants us to be.
This is why we must recognize what seeds the enemy is planting in our minds. This starts by putting on the brakes...taking a time out...and basically looking back over what is going through our minds.
It comes back to what you allow to fill your mind with on a daily basis. Are you feeding on Gods word daily or are you content to allow your days be plastered with elements that are unpleasing to God. This is by no means to say we are to give up all we have and go into full time ministry with no contact with ungodly people. I just mean that we need to look at what is guiding our ship....what fuel are we living on? Like my favourite analogy...if I goto the gym, work hard then go out for and chow down on fast food each night...Im going to ultimately perform poorly in the gym and not have the necessary nutrition and energy needed to perform at my optimum.
Sometimes we need to go further than just stepping back...we need to look at ourself on the whole. Are we filled with pride and unable to compromise, unable to see our own faults/mistakes? Have we become so self-absorbed that the needs of others has become irrelevant. Have we become so focused on reaching our own goals and needs that we are neglecting others...neglecting one of the most important commands God has given us...to love one another.
This all calls on us to take a stand and not allow ourselves to be controlled in a negative and harmful manner. We need to be vocal in our objection to the enemy! Daily we need to be quoting scripture, we need to be mirroring the characteristics of Christ and above all else love others unconditionally! This will all lead to a life that is pleasing to God...a life that is successful & fulfilling!
But why would we want to do all this? Why dont we just remain self-centered and strive for things that benefit ourselves? Well simply put...when we carry out the will of God, we open the door to unimaginable blessings!
But as soon as we allow the devil in, even just slightly, we are placing our selves in a position where we limit Gods ability to fully bless us. Each day we need to ensure we are wise with the decisions that we make, we need to ensure that we are conducting ourselves in a way that is not only healthy to our own wellbeing, but also healthy to those around us. And the great news is...God has given us the wisdom required to live an extraordinary life...we just need to learn to give God time and be prepared to listen to Him.
For the Lord gives skillful and godly Wisdom; from His mouth come knowledge and understanding. (Proverbs 2:6)
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